Finding
Your Bliss
By
Bonnie
Calcagno
In
shopping for the holidays I ran into two parents of students I had many years
ago when I was a public school teacher.
Both parents were concerned about their children who were now in their
early twenties and about to choose a career. I told their parents I wished the public school had given
their children more guidance, perhaps, offering a six month elective course in
their senior year, where they would have been assessed with the many
instruments available to give them insights into their personalities, their
interests, let them think about their values, and expose them to the many
career options that are out there.
We
are an extraverted culture who have become quite good at setting external
standards in our schools, but we’re not as good at helping students to look
inside themselves. If you were
lucky enough to grow up in a family with parents who have personalities like
yours, whose interests are like yours, who confirmed you for who you are, role
models are right there in your own home and your path in life might be
straightforward. But if you grew
up with parents and relatives and acquaintances who had personalities that were
different from yours, whose interests were different from yours, perhaps, even
whose values were different from yours, and if the schools gave you no guidance
in learning another way of being, you might upon graduation feel lost. So my advice to such a young person is
to take advantage of some of the fine instruments that are out there such as
the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and the Strong Interest Inventory.
The
instrument I personally like the best is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Carl Jung developed the concept of
personality type upon which it is based after making a break with the person
who had become a father-figure for him, Sigmund Freud. When you give up identifications based
on the stories others tell about you as Jung did, and try to go in a new
uncertain direction, you can feel disoriented. Personality type, in such cases, can help you understand how
you differ from others and what unique gifts you have. But taking the Myers-Briggs Inventory
is just a first step. Next, to
really get the most out of it, you need to read about your personality type, to
really understand the gifts and weaknesses of that type. If you do that, choosing a career that
fits becomes much easier.
I
first discovered personality type in a conference I attended with fellow
teachers. My results on a learning
preference instrument were different from everyone I was sitting with. Subsequently, as I delved further into
personality type, I discovered that only one percent of the population had my
type. As I thought back to people
I had known, I realized on the rare occasion when I met another person of my
type and interests, it was like talking to a soul mate. In reading about what type theory calls
your dominant function, for the first time, I really understood what I am best
at. In reading about my inferior
function, I understood what I am worst at, what causes me stress. In going even further and listening to
John Beebe’s audiotapes, “A New Model of Psychological Types” on opposing
personalities, I learned to anticipate what my communication difficulties would be with
others. Now I understood what to
stay away from. I’ve since talked
about personality type with many different people. One mother expressed gratitude as I helped her to understand
how her son was an extravert in her family of introverts. She had thought his different ways
indicated something was wrong with him.
I’ve talked to married people and understanding personality type helped
them to understand the problems that existed with their spouses. Henry L. Thompson, the author of “The
Communication Wheel”, tells us different personality types communicate
differently. One type might be
logical, blunt, abstract, theoretical, and critical. Another may be warm and friendly, taking things personally,
like to be concrete, sentimental, wearing their heart on their sleeve. When these two different personality
types meet and try to talk to each other, they both might come away wondering
what’s wrong with the other. Learning
how to communicate in the manner of the other can make good communication
possible between people of different personality types. So the first step in identifying how
you might be different from others is taking the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Next learn all you can about your type. It could make you aware of things you might
never have realized without it.
Another
tool those seeking career direction can use is the interest inventory. When you choose a career based on your
interests you wake up in the morning with a sense of enthusiasm, excited to see
a new day begin. You don’t live
for Fridays, but rather want to savor each precious moment of life, because you
are absorbed in what you are doing.
You need to find a work environment that matches your interest to find
your bliss.
Some
who take interest inventories discover they have interests similar to
artists. They find satisfaction by
choosing careers in the literary arts or visual arts or performing arts or
craft arts or graphic arts or careers in modeling. Or they might find their interests fall into the category of
Realistic types whose passion lies in working with tools or machines or
animals. Realistic types enjoy
working at manual or mechanical or agricultural or electrical or technical
tasks. Social types have a gift
for working with people. Their
passion is for teaching or healing.
They become nurses and teachers and therapists of various kinds. Enterprising types have an interest in
business. Their passion may lie in
achieving organizational goals or economic gain. They may be good with financial, administrative, or
mathematical detail. They may be
gifted in leadership or selling.
Conventional types have special clerical or numerical abilities. They use their gifts in accounting or
as bookkeepers or in dealing with finance or as secretaries or any other
occupation that involves the manipulation of data. Investigative types might have a passion for science. Their interest lies in the physical
sciences or life sciences or medical sciences or in laboratory technology. Once you’ve taken an interest inventory
such as the “The Strong Interest
Inventory” you’ll wind up with an interest code which can be matched to the
interest code of potential careers making you aware of good fitting careers you
may not have thought of on your own.
Finally
I would advise a twenty-something person looking to find their bliss to spend
some time thinking about what’s really important to them. Thinking about the values you want to
live by can help you to do that.
Working at something you value can give you a deep feeling of
wholeness. Thinking about what you
value before you choose a career can help you to chart a more meaningful work
life.
So
to that young person thinking about what to do in life, I would caution you are
making a more important decision than you may realize. You find your bliss when you express
your gifts, when you don’t spend your days doing what you find stressful, when
you are genuinely interested in what you do, when you live by your values. Choose your career wisely. You aren’t just choosing a career. In choosing how you’ll spend
eight hours of every day you’re choosing how you will spend a good portion of
your life.
For the title of books on
personality type go to: www.capt.org or call
for the Center for Applications of Psychological Type catalog at 1-800-777-CAPT or go to www.cpp-db.com or call for the Consulting
Psychologist Press catalog at 1-800-624-1765
To learn about different careers go
to the Department of Labor website at www.bls.gov and click on The Occupational Outlook Handbook.
To find information about “The
Communication Wheel” go to www.hpsys.com.
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